Life After Beth – Not bad or good. Jesus realized this.

Life After Beth ✧ R ✧ 2014 ✧ Horror/Comedy ✧ 1h 31m

This is certainly going to make sense. I recently rewatched The Amazing Spider-Man 1 and 2. Naturally, I had to watch this movie next. Obviously. 

Look. I’ve been on a zombie kick, so the fact that the angry emo boy meow meow (my type) was in a zombie film was too perfect to pass up. I did not watch the trailer for this, nor do I remember ever watching the trailer when it came out, so I was shooketh when I saw who else was in the film. SO MANY good people. 

Aubrey Plaza is in top 10 on the crush list. I was going to stick it out for her. 

Stick it out? Yeah. Long story short, this movie is so mid. I honestly was going to turn it off after the first 30m because it just draaaaaaaaged. But it has my favourite kind of straight dry wit humour and so I decided to power through.

While it was slow to pick up, it did pick up eventually. The longer the film went on, the more I actually liked it. Like what I imagine some people feel towards exercising. That shit eventually becomes enjoyable, right? Masochists entering the chat? 

Things I Liked… Small thing, so stupid but so delicious. They made Plaza’s eye makeup slightly more red in colour as the movie went on. To then have that blood moon? YUM. And yes, I know, I know. Zombie makeup = red eyes. But look a little deeper, people. Sometimes the cigar is more than a cigar. 

Speaking of: the singular shot of Plaza looking like a cat with her demon eyes being the only thing you could see in the dark was HEAVENLY.

Dark is light, light is dark, they are the same.

Gotta love the pure amount of existential dread pouring through every line. Omnomnom. The vibe of my people. 

Speaking of vibes, the brothers together were amazing and stole every scene they were in. So entertaining and so real with such great familial chemistry between the actors.

Honestly, kind of want to see that film. Not a spinoff of this movie, but Dane DeHaan and Matthew Gray Gubler as bickering brothers in a different zombie film.

All I ever wanted to do was shoot people.

– Kyle Orfman

To be fair, there was a moderate amount of LOLs in this film. All loud and out loud. So… A+ on the lols when they happened. 

Yeah. The problem with a meh film is that there’s nothing really more to say. I could critique the fuck out of it, but it wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t that good either. Idk. It ticked another zombie film off the list. 

The most important takeaway? DO NOT HAVE SEX ON SAND OR INSULATION! You do not understand what damage you are exposing your nethers to. Alive or Dead, it’s not worth it. 

R.M.H Rating: What masochists feel exercising.

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